19 and Single

I am 19 and single. Why am I so love-sick??

It seems like every single time I get on Facebook someone else is engaged or someone else has started a wedding countdown or someone else has just got married. I have been feeling like the ugly duckling this entire time.

But, what I have realized is that there is no reason for me to feel that way!  These people who are getting married at 18 or 19 and right out of high school will probably just add to the statistic of marriages that fail.  Why am I envying this??

I am only 19 years old!  I am a baby in terms of a life span. Yet, I was feeling like I was destined for a life of TV reruns, bad Chinese food, and a collection of cats to keep me company.  I was scared of a life alone.  WHY??  I have my whole life ahead of me!  I am happy and loved by my friends and family and I'm SINGLE!  I can do whatever, whenever, and without having to answer to anyone!

But, instead of embracing my life as it is and loving the people I am surrounded by, I have become cynical and sullen and perpetually lonely.  That stops.  Now.  I am thrilled to say that I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I will find love, but I am not going to find it sitting on a couch watching chick flicks and hating my single-ness.  I have to go out there and live my single life that way it should be lived- FREE!  And by free, I mean independence.  It's not relying on anyone for anything or being relied on.

There are so many things I want to do.  So many places I want to see.

Here's to the end of the lonely nights, the sad, boring personality, the down trodden face, the love-sick girl that could be found journaling her thoughts with Ben and Jerry.  And here's to the beginning of my new life. A life filled with friends and family and fun and happiness and freedom.

I honestly feel bad for those people that have and/or are about to become tied down with a husband or wife and kids before they can even legally drink. While you have tied your life with responsibilities and commitment at such a young and carefree age; I will be out living mine.  Like I should be.

I will find love one day. But it will be when I have experienced life and am ready to settle down. Until then, I am more than willing to wait with my head held high.

I am a new person. I am single and free.  And I will be happy.