Another Year

My summer has officially started! I finished my finals and regardless of how I feel about them, it is in the past. For the most part, I think I got pretty good grades this semester.

Friday was my last day working at the library for four whole months! You have no idea how great that sounds to me. And yesterday was moving day. After two years on my own, I am kind of nervous to be back at my parent's house for the summer. It could be really good. Or really bad. But I am going to miss my roommates, especially Ashley. I honestly don't know what I'm going to do without that girl. I am so glad that I will be close enough to Logan that I can come visit her.

And so this post is for you, Ashley, Trish and Natalie. I love you all. You are the greatest! We had some good times, made lots of memories and had many, many laughs.

xoxo

-Sam

Dear Boys

Dear Mister,

.................................

................................

.................................

Awkwardly,

Samantha

Dear Mister,

That's how I feel when I'm around you.

I never know what to say.

I really need to work on that...

Apologetically,

Samantha

Dear Water,

I have officially started a countdown.

August cannot come fast enough.

And then what will happen?

I miss you!

Sammy

Dear Nameless,

I still can't bring myself to talk to you.

So I'll just watch you from a distance.

Please don't think I'm a creeper

I'm sorry I'm not sorry.

Affectionately,

Samantha

Dear Hot and Cold,

I think you might have forgotten about me.

But I haven't forgotten about you.

Your friend,

Sammy

Failure

Maybe everyone goes through times where they feel like they have failed miserably. Or maybe it's just me. Either way, as much as I hate to admit it, I have failed.

A few weeks ago, I was on top of the world. Everything seemed to be going just right and the pieces of my life appeared to be finally falling together to create a neat little picture of the life I always wanted. But last week, all that came crashing down and exploded in my face. I felt extremely helpless as I watched my life fall apart and there was nothing I could do. I feel like life gave me just a small glimpse of the things I wanted and have worked hard to achieve and then rudely takes it all away. I'm sure Fate is laughing at me from afar.

I feel like a failure and a disappointment. I was so sure that I was going to get a really cool internship this summer and get lots of really neat experience while meeting awesome people. And then I would come back to school and not have to worry about money and just enjoy my senior year. By all indications, I was so sure things were going to work out just that way I wanted. But then day after day I got my answers. No. No. Nope. No. I was denied everything I had hoped for and counted on. Now I am back at the beginning and have to figure things out all over again. It's almost overwhelming to think about. I had counted on that scholarship, I had prayed for that internship, I had hoped for that job. And those were just some of the big things. Even the small things were going wrong.

I was so devastated that it effected me physically. I couldn't sleep and I just felt horrible all the time. I didn't want to do anything and all my motivation for school was suddenly gone. I honestly felt like crying all the time.

I think it's a human shortcoming to compare ourselves to others. I know I do it. And while everyone around me is achieving their dreams and doing great things with their lives, I feel like I'm stuck. Stuck and not moving forward. In fact, sometimes I feel like I'm actually moving backwards. It seems like all the forces are fighting against me and everything I do takes a substantial amount of effort while everyone else achieves things effortlessly.

For three short weeks, I felt like I was on Cloud 9. Looking back, I feels like it was all a dream and that I blindly, and even naively, believed that something that awesome would actually happen to me. I should have known better and then maybe, just maybe, I would have saved myself from this disappointment.

xoxo
-Sam

Bangs

Oops! Just realized the title read "Bongs". Let's change that. No bueno.

Now on to a post all about my bangs!

 

I think a need a  hair intervention! My bangs are at that awkward stage where they are too long to be worn as bangs but to short to blend in with the rest of my hair. See Exibit A:

But they are almost to the point where I can tuck them behind my ear. Exhibit B:

So this is where you all come in. Do I leave my bangs and just let them grow out? Or should I cut them? And how should I cut them?

I could leave them as the classic 'side-swept' bangs or go back to the straight bangs look. Exhibit C:

I am very indecisive about this situation and complain about my bangs nearly everyday to my roommate. And it's getting ridiculous. I just need to make up my mind and do something. I have thought about letting them grow out, but I haven't not had bangs for a really long time. So long that I can't even remember. 

So if you have any ideas for me, please leave them below! Thank you all.

xoxo

Sam

Confessions

I like to drink juice straight from the bottle.

I'm in love with glitter and sparkly things.

I have a love-hate relationship with socks. They keep my feet warm but they are so uncomfortable and annoying to wear.

I will still stay up late to read a book. Even if I've already read it a hundred times.

If I don't know you, I am extremely shy. If I do know you, I am obnoxiously loud.

I de-stress by playing the piano.

I tend to be a perfectionist.

If I ever had to run for my life, I would probably die.

I am a very picky eater.

Heights and doctors terrify me.

I love TV crime shows.

Sometimes I become emotionally attached to fictional book characters.

Daydreaming is a hobby of mine.

Daydreaming about my future is even better.

I don't really read magazines. I just like to look at the pictures.

I love bubble wrap.

Sometimes, I do sing in the shower.

I am not a morning person.

I sometimes think that I was born in the wrong time period and that I actually belong in an era with big, fancy dresses.

~

I am constantly afraid that I am not good enough.