Friday, August 26, 2011

19 and Single

I am 19 and single. Why am I so love-sick??

It seems like every single time I get on Facebook someone else is engaged or someone else has started a wedding countdown or someone else has just got married. I have been feeling like the ugly duckling this entire time.

But, what I have realized is that there is no reason for me to feel that way!  These people who are getting married at 18 or 19 and right out of high school will probably just add to the statistic of marriages that fail.  Why am I envying this??

I am only 19 years old!  I am a baby in terms of a life span. Yet, I was feeling like I was destined for a life of TV reruns, bad Chinese food, and a collection of cats to keep me company.  I was scared of a life alone.  WHY??  I have my whole life ahead of me!  I am happy and loved by my friends and family and I'm SINGLE!  I can do whatever, whenever, and without having to answer to anyone!

But, instead of embracing my life as it is and loving the people I am surrounded by, I have become cynical and sullen and perpetually lonely.  That stops.  Now.  I am thrilled to say that I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I will find love, but I am not going to find it sitting on a couch watching chick flicks and hating my single-ness.  I have to go out there and live my single life that way it should be lived- FREE!  And by free, I mean independence.  It's not relying on anyone for anything or being relied on.

There are so many things I want to do.  So many places I want to see.

Here's to the end of the lonely nights, the sad, boring personality, the down trodden face, the love-sick girl that could be found journaling her thoughts with Ben and Jerry.  And here's to the beginning of my new life. A life filled with friends and family and fun and happiness and freedom.

I honestly feel bad for those people that have and/or are about to become tied down with a husband or wife and kids before they can even legally drink. While you have tied your life with responsibilities and commitment at such a young and carefree age; I will be out living mine.  Like I should be.

I will find love one day. But it will be when I have experienced life and am ready to settle down. Until then, I am more than willing to wait with my head held high.

I am a new person. I am single and free.  And I will be happy.

Monday, August 22, 2011

I Can't Wait To Meet Her

Jumping head first into the unknown is scary.  And intimidating.  But it's good for us.  It teaches us things about ourselves we never knew before.  Trying new things provides insight into life and it's purpose.  Growing and learning is a natural part to life so it only makes sense that trying new things is essential.  But sometimes, when life gets really scary, we hold back and don't let ourselves push our boundaries.  And that, my friends, is the truly scary part.  Those moments when we are too afraid to allow ourselves to grow and slowly evolve into a new person.  We may be scared for many different reasons.  Maybe you are worried about what others will think.  Or maybe it is something you never believed you would have to face and now it is right there in front of you.  Or maybe it's the uncertainty surrounding the haze of the unknown.  Whatever the reason may be, it is in those moments that we really learn the most about ourselves.  In those moments that we are faced with the decision of pressing through it or finding a different path through life.  But I am certain that the alternate paths will be less rewarding and less satisfying.  Once we start down one of the 'easier' paths, we are forced to life with the regret and all of the "what if's" and unfortunately, there is no rewind button in life.  We are left with no choice but to keep pressing forward on this new path we have chosen.

A new school year is just about to start and I am anxious to see where life will take me in the next twelve months.  I know without a doubt that I will be, in no shape or form, the same person I am today.  Both the good and bad times will re-define me and I only hope that despite all the differences I will emerge a better person.  And I can't wait to meet her.

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Neglect and an Excuse

I will admit, I have neglected my blog over the last month or so.  And the only excuse I really have is that I've been busy.  So I guess it's up to my readers to decide if that is a valid excuse or not.

So what exactly have I been so busy with?  I went to Canada for two weeks, which has definitely has been the highlight of my summer.  We had our own little 'Gregson Family Tour of Alberta', stopping in Magrath, Calgary and Edmonton.  And even taking a day trip to go to Banff and see the Canadian Rockies and Lake Louise.  Plus it was great to see all of my family again and to just have a vacation and leave life and all responsibilities behind in the states.  Now I am back to working everyday and trying to plan a bridal shower for my one of my bestest friends.  I still can't believe she is getting married!!  I have been super stressed with this and I know I shouldn't be but I want it to turn out perfect.  And this isn't your typical bridal shower either.  It will be an open house for friends, family and ward members.  So basically all the different types of showers combined into one big one.  And then on top of all that, the fall semester starts in two weeks!  I am so freaking excited!  I won't have to be a boring and super responsible adult anymore; I can be a fun and somewhat responsible student.  So I'll be saying goodbye to working full time and hello to friends in just a few short weeks!
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