Thursday, December 30, 2010


another year has come to a close.  2010 has definitely been a year to remember and i dedicate this post to all the memories that i will always cherish.  so much happened this year: so many ups and downs.  there was graduation, moving out, 18th birthday, college, new jobs, AP testing, friends lost and friends made. so much laughter and tears, smiles and frowns.  so many emotions: excitement, anxiety, sadness, happiness, nerves, love, regret, remorse, longing, worry, affection.  i know i could not have gotten through the rough patches without my family and friends.  they were there to support me and help me see that even though the road ahead may be dark, there eventually has to be light.  becuase light always wins out over darkness.  i am so very blessed to be surround by so many supportive people who love me despite my weaknesses.  this past year, i have come to appreciate friends and began to realize who my true friends are and who i can truly count on.  i feel like i have grown a lot, both emotionally and in maturity.  moving away to college really helped me see what the real world is like and forced me to leave my little bubble of layton, utah.

i hope this next year is even better and that i will continue to have these growing experiences and make memories that will last a life time.

happy new years everyone! :)

Saturday, December 4, 2010

never grow up.

i really like this song by taylor swift.  and thought i would share it with you all :)  it talks about the how someone feels about growing up at different points in their life, and from someone who has been threw those stages, it is very accurate.

never grow up
by taylor swift

Your little hand's wrapped around my finger
And it's so quiet in the world tonight
Your little eyelids flutter cause you're dreaming
So I tuck you in, turn on your favorite night light
To you everything's funny, you got nothing to regret
I'd give all I have, honey
If you could stay like that

Oh darling, don't you ever grow up
Don't you ever grow up, just stay this little
Oh darling, don't you ever grow up
Don't you ever grow up, it could stay this simple
I won't let nobody hurt you, won't let no one break your heart
And no one will desert you
Just try to never grow up, never grow up

You're in the car on the way to the movies
And you're mortified your mom's dropping you off
At 14 there's just so much you can't do
And you can't wait to move out someday and call your own shots
But don't make her drop you off around the block
Remember that she's getting older too
And don't lose the way that you dance around in your pj's getting ready for school

Oh darling, don't you ever grow up
Don't you ever grow up, just stay this little
Oh darling, don't you ever grow up
Don't you ever grow up, it could stay this simple
No one's ever burned you, nothing's ever left you scarred
And even though you want to, just try to never grow up

Take pictures in your mind of your childhood room
Memorize what it sounded like when your dad gets home
Remember the footsteps, remember the words said
And all your little brother's favorite songs
I just realized everything I have is someday gonna be gone

So here I am in my new apartment
In a big city, they just dropped me off
It's so much colder that I thought it would be
So I tuck myself in and turn my night light on

Wish I'd never grown up
I wish I'd never grown up

Oh I don't wanna grow up, wish I'd never grown up
I could still be little
Oh I don't wanna grow up, wish I'd never grown up
It could still be simple
Oh darling, don't you ever grow up
Don't you ever grow up, just stay this little
Oh darling, don't you ever grow up
Don't you ever grow up, it could stay this simple
Won't let nobody hurt you
Won't let no one break your heart
And even though you want to, please try to never grow up
Oh, don't you ever grow up
Oh, never grow up, just never grow up

Friday, December 3, 2010


While I was at work today, a family came in and the little girl immediately caught my attention. Now this girl was no older then 8 years old, and yet, she had a cell phone. Not just any cell phone, but a sleek, top of the line, touch screen smart hone. Don't get me wrong, I love my cell phone but I do not think this little girl needed such a device.

We live in a world that relies wholly on technology. It is all around us; there is no escaping it. Over the past 20 years or so, we have witnessed a technological revolution. It has changed basic communication, thinking, education, the work place, and countless other functions of life. As with every issue, there are pros and cons to technology in addition to the ethics debate that is continually surrounding it.

I could go on for awhile discussing my views on the topic, but for now, I have chosen to express my opinion on the impact it has had on education. Perhaps, I will revisit this topic in the future and talk about another aspect of it.

Growing up, my parents would be continuously reminding me of how different thing were compared to when they were children. I'm sure we have all heard the "When I was your age..." stories from our own parents. I would hear stories about them going to the library to do research but today's average student has an abundant amount of information at their fingertips. Of course, this makes finding sources for a paper a lot faster, but is it really better? The Internet has benefited students as they can spend less time looking for material and more time reading and analyzing it. However, this convenience makes plagiarism easier to do: only a couple clicks with the mouse is needed. I would be interested to learn how much plagiarism has increased over the last decade or so.

Overall, I think technology is beneficial, but like any powerful tool, it can be potentially detrimental if used improperly and for the wrong reasons.

Thursday, December 2, 2010

memories :)

memories. some happy, some not so happy. i can look back on those that were positive and smile, and learn from the negative.

-dancing in the rain
-playing at the park
-high school dances
-playing the piano until my fingers hurt
-laughing until we cried
-all those hot tub margarita parties
-late night talks with the girls
-singing along to "don't trust a hoe" as loud as we can
-childhood playdates
-swimming in the summer
-ballroom dancing
-skipping spanish class to go to the mall
-watching "what not to wear"
-staying up all night worrying
-getting Naked at the coles
-driving around just becuase
-senior trip to my city-NYC
-sledding in winter
-laying under the stars
-worrying about AP testing
-filling out numerous scholarship applications
-laying awake at night thinking of him
-meeting Jon Schmidt
-the trip to canada with the best friend
-moving out and going to college
-modeling and fashion shows
-spending hours in an elevator
-the car accident
-the disappointment at not recieving any scholarship applied for
-andy adams park
-the florida beaches
-all those fights and apologies
-football games
-over-the-fence borrowing
-dancing around singing to the radio
-learning to play the organ
-tiger hunts
-mission farewells
-girls camp
-my first job
-afternoons on antelope island
-making music videos
-school lunch hour
-pillow fights
-mormon taquilla
-all my friends and family

Wednesday, December 1, 2010


Over the past few weeks, I have had many of those super real feeling dreams. Here are a few of them:

The first one I remember, I was getting married. Although, I never saw his face. He was always busy or in the other room. The only contact during the dream was a few phone calls. It was so real! I remember feeling the way I think I were feeling while planning a wedding; the emotions were so real! I saw the reception, although I don't remember many of the details. I actually don't remember a lot of the details from the entire dream, but I remember how I felt. How happy and satisfied with life I was.

Last night, I dreamed I was a mother. I was suddenly in the hospital and was handed a small bundle, I remember being confused and the sudden realization that this was my son. He was so small and perfect with brown hair and brown eyes. Again, I felt strong emotions is this dream, as I clearly remember the panic I felt when I realized that I could not take care of him; I was not married and still in college. I remember the tough decision I had to make between adoption or being a single mother. In the end I chose adoption, but was able to name him, and chose the name James.

I don't know what all these dreams mean, or if they have some sort of significance because they were so clear and strong. Over Thanksgiving, I talked to my dad about them, and he told me that those dreams are the ones to pay attention too, especially if they made that big of an impression on me.
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