I need to free myself from doubt and have faith that everything will work out. It may not happen when and how I want it to but I need to have faith and trust that God knows what He is doing. And He does.
Like seriously you guys, it was awesome. Church was just what I needed. In sacrament there was this quote:
"Be of good cheer. Your future is as bright as your faith." ~Pres. Monson
I have heard that quote before somewhere, but today it really hit me. Because last night I had a mini freak-out about my life. I was applying for internships and realized that I don't have to much applicable experience that would make someone want me as intern. Sure, I have had a job since I was 16, but being a gymnastics coach doesn't mean anything to a PR firm. Needless to say I was a little worried. But at this point there isn't a whole lot I can do. That's what I thought until I went to church this morning. If I start reading my scriptures and praying again that my faith will increase and I know I will be blessed for it.
And if that wasn't enough, Sunday School was just as good. It was about the BOM which made me want to start reading it even more. Then Relief Society was combined with the men and take a guess about what the lesson was about. You guessed it! The BOM! I was so ready to start my new goal by the end of church.
My afternoon was spent with my amazing roommates. Singing, pudding and YouTube. We had a lot of good laughs. Oh, and nail painting may or may not have occurred.
Some boys invited us over to their place for dinner. They cooked us a wonderful meal complete with a pot roast and potatoes. And followed it up with Better Than You-Know-What Cake.
The Spectrum was almost filled to capacity today. There was a fireside that Elder Ballard spoke at. And guess what the main theme was? Joseph Smith. I think someone up above was trying to send me a message today. Message received!
After walking home in the cold tonight, I couldn't wait to put on some comfy sweats and make some hot chocolate.
Good night everyone! And don't forget to smile just because today was a great day!
I was able to spend this past weekend with my family. It was a crazy, full weekend filled with packing, moving and unpacking. Needless to say, we all got really tired and there were times when we tried each other's patience. But we are family and we all love each other. I am so grateful for my family and how much they do for me. Even though I don't get to see them as much now, I know that I will we will always love each other and be there for one another.
“Love is the very essence of life. It is the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. Yet it is not found only at the end of the rainbow. Love is at the beginning also, and from it springs the beauty that arched across the sky on a stormy day. Love is the security for which children weep, the yearning of youth, the adhesive that binds marriage, and the lubricant that prevents devastating friction in the home; it is the peace of old age, the sunlight of hope shining through death. How rich are those who enjoy it in their associations with family, friends, and neighbors! Love, like faith, is a gift of God. It is also the most enduring and most powerful virtue.” ― Gordon B. Hinckley, Standing Something Cd: Ten Neglected Virtues That Will Heal Our Hearts And Homes
It seems like every single time I get on Facebook someone else is engaged or someone else has started a wedding countdown or someone else has just got married. I have been feeling like the ugly duckling this entire time.
But, what I have realized is that there is no reason for me to feel that way! These people who are getting married at 18 or 19 and right out of high school will probably just add to the statistic of marriages that fail. Why am I envying this??
I am only 19 years old! I am a baby in terms of a life span. Yet, I was feeling like I was destined for a life of TV reruns, bad Chinese food, and a collection of cats to keep me company. I was scared of a life alone. WHY?? I have my whole life ahead of me! I am happy and loved by my friends and family and I'm SINGLE! I can do whatever, whenever, and without having to answer to anyone!
But, instead of embracing my life as it is and loving the people I am surrounded by, I have become cynical and sullen and perpetually lonely. That stops. Now. I am thrilled to say that I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I will find love, but I am not going to find it sitting on a couch watching chick flicks and hating my single-ness. I have to go out there and live my single life that way it should be lived- FREE! And by free, I mean independence. It's not relying on anyone for anything or being relied on.
There are so many things I want to do. So many places I want to see.
Here's to the end of the lonely nights, the sad, boring personality, the down trodden face, the love-sick girl that could be found journaling her thoughts with Ben and Jerry. And here's to the beginning of my new life. A life filled with friends and family and fun and happiness and freedom.
I honestly feel bad for those people that have and/or are about to become tied down with a husband or wife and kids before they can even legally drink. While you have tied your life with responsibilities and commitment at such a young and carefree age; I will be out living mine. Like I should be.
I will find love one day. But it will be when I have experienced life and am ready to settle down. Until then, I am more than willing to wait with my head held high.
I am a new person. I am single and free. And I will be happy.
Jumping head first into the unknown is scary. And intimidating. But it's good for us. It teaches us things about ourselves we never knew before. Trying new things provides insight into life and it's purpose. Growing and learning is a natural part to life so it only makes sense that trying new things is essential. But sometimes, when life gets really scary, we hold back and don't let ourselves push our boundaries. And that, my friends, is the truly scary part. Those moments when we are too afraid to allow ourselves to grow and slowly evolve into a new person. We may be scared for many different reasons. Maybe you are worried about what others will think. Or maybe it is something you never believed you would have to face and now it is right there in front of you. Or maybe it's the uncertainty surrounding the haze of the unknown. Whatever the reason may be, it is in those moments that we really learn the most about ourselves. In those moments that we are faced with the decision of pressing through it or finding a different path through life. But I am certain that the alternate paths will be less rewarding and less satisfying. Once we start down one of the 'easier' paths, we are forced to life with the regret and all of the "what if's" and unfortunately, there is no rewind button in life. We are left with no choice but to keep pressing forward on this new path we have chosen.
A new school year is just about to start and I am anxious to see where life will take me in the next twelve months. I know without a doubt that I will be, in no shape or form, the same person I am today. Both the good and bad times will re-define me and I only hope that despite all the differences I will emerge a better person. And I can't wait to meet her.
Dreams, goals and aspirations; they all are a governing force in our lives. They are points we wish to reach in our life time. They are destinations we want to end up at. Without dreams, life can be quite dull. How we act and the decisions we make are ultimately determined by our dreams. We desperately want to reach our goals and actualize our dreams, so we are willing to make the necessary. For example, an aspiring college student is going to put forth the time and effort to be involved and get good grades in high school in order to be accepted into their dream college.
Lately, I have been thinking about what my dreams and what exactly I want to achieve in life and making my own bucket list. Here are just a few of my dreams.
★ graduate college ***in progress*** ★ temple marriage ★ write a song ★ adopt ★ live in NYC ★ meet Taylor Swift ★ learn to play the guitar ***in progress*** ★ see the northern lights ★ find a 4-leaf clover ★ catch fireflies ★ help baby sea turtles make it to the ocean ★ go on a humanitarian trip to a foreign country
Dreams are what keep us going in life. Without them, what would we have to look forward to? What would be purpose of living? My dreams keep me going during the rough patches and help me stay focused on what I really want.
And I just have to include this video clip. One, because it has to do with dreams. And two, it stars the one and only, Taylor Swift!
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