Saturday, February 11, 2012

The Dating Problem

My generation has a twisted understanding of dating. A lot of young people believe that dating = hanging out.

But I am here to tell you that this is not true. They are entirely different and separate activities.

So let's break it down. What do we know about hanging out?

1. Usually unplanned. This is when you get a conversation similar to this: "So what do you want to do?" "I don't know. What do you want to do?" "I don't know..."
2. Everyone pays for themselves.
3. These hang outs are typically with the same people. Doing the same thing.
4. You are secretly wishing you were on a date with that one guy instead of sitting around having the what-do-you-want-to-do conversation.

Okay, now what about dating?
1. They are (should) be planned. Those unplanned dates are rough. And awkward.
2. The guy pays.
3. To achieve the best dating experience, date a lot of different people. And do different things. Don't get me wrong, those dinner and a movie dates have their purpose. But are not for the sixth date.
4. You are happy because you are actually on a date. It makes you feel kind of special.

So how and why has our society turned good, old-fashioned dating into hanging out? They are obviously not the same thing. I'm not going to pretend to have the answer because I don't. What I do know is this: dating has taken a back-seat while hanging out has moved in front and center.

Bottom line: Guys don't ask girls out enough. And when that date does come around the girl takes it really seriously and that can freak a guy out. So they just don't ask girls out as often until they are really serious about settling down. So less people are dating and in the mean time, we are all getting old and even more single with every passing day.


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