A brand new me

I am moving.

And I couldn't me more excited or nervous.

On Saturday, my mom and I set out for Salt Lake armed with a list of possible places and determined to fine my new home. House number one was a charming 3 bedroom home at the end of a cul-de-sac. It had a fun and open floor plan with one of those catwalks over the kitchen. The actual building itself was perfect but that's where the good ended. While we were waiting for the landlord to show up, I asked the girl who was moving out if she had enjoyed living there and she struggled to find something positive to say. Strike one. I asked her what the other roommates were like and she described them as "intense" and suggested it may be due to cultural difference. Strike two. The final strike was the location. It was in a sketchy neighborhood. Like the kind of neighborhood that we locked the car doors as we drove through. The kind of neighborhood that makes you feel uncomfortable and on edge as you anxiously scan the area for the mugger that you know is just around the corner. We immediately crossed that house off the list.

The second house had a perfect location and is less than 5 miles from where my office will be located after it moves in the summer. We rang the doorbell and I was immediately greeted by a girl with a huge smile and as she gave us a tour, I started to see the house as a place I could actually live and be happy. Everything about it was perfect. The bedroom was big with a giant walk-in closet, the girls living there seemed awesome and they had lots of positive things to say about the singles ward. I honestly could not find anything bad about the place. They even have a piano! Huge plus right there. But unfortunately, the room was on hold for someone else who was trying to get the money together for the deposit. The landlord was holding it until the 18th and would let me know if things fell through. Bummer. So we moved on to the next place on the list.

The third one on the list was another charming house located in a cute neighborhood in Daybreak. It had lots of positives but I just couldn't see myself living there. Something about it just felt off. I still can't figure out what it was but for some reason it wasn't what I was looking for. And besides, the bedroom was tiny. A queen been would barely fit with just enough room to walk around the edge of it. The girls who lived there were awesome but something still felt off.

The last place was a townhome owned by a lawyer-turned-chef who was renting out two rooms. This place was gorgeous. High-end everything. She kept her china displayed on the table that was always set. Everything was shiny and expensive. It felt more like something off a showroom floor than an actual home. I honestly think that if I lived there I would be afraid of A. breaking something or B. not keeping things clean enough. It was a great home but just not for me.

We returned home a little discouraged that the only one that really felt right wasn't an option. So I began to search the internet for some more options and to make a new list.

I got a text Sunday evening from the landlord of house number 2 saying things weren't going to work out with the other girl and the room was mine if I wanted it...! I immediately knew that this is where I was supposed to be. I signed the lease that night and will be moving on February 1.

The more I think about it, the more I truly believe that this was meant to happen. With everything going on in my life right now, the timing of all this is almost too perfect. This is my fresh start. I can move on with my life and meet new people and make new friends. I can be anyone I want to be. People won't know my past or anything about me except the things I choose to tell them. I really believe that this is the best thing for my life right now. There's really no other way to explain the feeling I have about it or the way everything worked out. I just know it's where I'm meant to be and that Sandy is the place where the next chapter of my life is supposed to play out.

Most People

When I graduated high school, I had a plan. I knew what I wanted and I had a good idea of when certain things would happen. As life progressed, I realized that things weren't going the way I had hoped. It's not that things were going bad, they were just different.

I had planned on graduating college in four years because that's what most people do. I did it in three.

I thought I would get married while I was in school because that's what most people do. But then I graduated at early and realized it's defintely okay not to be married at this point.

I never thought I would move back in with my parents. But I am grateful for them letting me do so.

I am not "most people" and I don't have to do what everyone else is doing. And I shouldn't feel bad that I'm doing what what they are doing. I am doing things a little different. So I'm not disappointed that I'm not where I had planned I would be at this point. Somewhere along the way I took a different path that took me in a different direction. Now I am making a new plan for myself. New goals. Where do I want to be in five years? Graduate school? Living a new adventure in a different part of the country? Starting a family? Beginning a great career?

I'm excited to see what life brings!

xoxo,

sam

Officially Worried

This semester I have been a TA/tutor for the beginning newswriting class. This mostly means that I help students with their articles. I have been appalled at the quality of writing I have seen. I even had to tell a student once that "Yes, you do need a period at the end of every sentence." I mean really, how can an individual be in college and not know the most basic rules of writing? I don't understand.

Needless to say, this makes me the tiniest bit worried for the future...

And then this just says it all. (I apologize for the language but it's just too funny not to share).

Failure

Maybe everyone goes through times where they feel like they have failed miserably. Or maybe it's just me. Either way, as much as I hate to admit it, I have failed.

A few weeks ago, I was on top of the world. Everything seemed to be going just right and the pieces of my life appeared to be finally falling together to create a neat little picture of the life I always wanted. But last week, all that came crashing down and exploded in my face. I felt extremely helpless as I watched my life fall apart and there was nothing I could do. I feel like life gave me just a small glimpse of the things I wanted and have worked hard to achieve and then rudely takes it all away. I'm sure Fate is laughing at me from afar.

I feel like a failure and a disappointment. I was so sure that I was going to get a really cool internship this summer and get lots of really neat experience while meeting awesome people. And then I would come back to school and not have to worry about money and just enjoy my senior year. By all indications, I was so sure things were going to work out just that way I wanted. But then day after day I got my answers. No. No. Nope. No. I was denied everything I had hoped for and counted on. Now I am back at the beginning and have to figure things out all over again. It's almost overwhelming to think about. I had counted on that scholarship, I had prayed for that internship, I had hoped for that job. And those were just some of the big things. Even the small things were going wrong.

I was so devastated that it effected me physically. I couldn't sleep and I just felt horrible all the time. I didn't want to do anything and all my motivation for school was suddenly gone. I honestly felt like crying all the time.

I think it's a human shortcoming to compare ourselves to others. I know I do it. And while everyone around me is achieving their dreams and doing great things with their lives, I feel like I'm stuck. Stuck and not moving forward. In fact, sometimes I feel like I'm actually moving backwards. It seems like all the forces are fighting against me and everything I do takes a substantial amount of effort while everyone else achieves things effortlessly.

For three short weeks, I felt like I was on Cloud 9. Looking back, I feels like it was all a dream and that I blindly, and even naively, believed that something that awesome would actually happen to me. I should have known better and then maybe, just maybe, I would have saved myself from this disappointment.

xoxo
-Sam

The Season of Sun

This summer I am planning on living with my parents and hopefully getting some kind of internship or job in Salt Lake. I decided to live at home for two reasons. 1. To save money. College is expensive and it's even more expensive when your scholarship runs out. 2. Layton is a lot closer to Salt Lake than Logan. And Salt Lake is where all of the opportunities are at, it seems. So I have been trying to figure out how I will be able to adjust to family life after two years on my own. Cue the sibling squabbles, being told that it's late and to go to bed by my parents and loud brothers.

But! That was the plan before I learned about a simply incredible opportunity in an amazing city. Details are still being figured out so I'll save all of that for another post. But here's a hint.

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Me freaking out!

Weekend of Inspiration

This weekend I attended a PR conference. And it was fantastic!

Professionals from across the country were there to talk to us about the different areas of PR and to offer advice.

There seemed to be a continual message that nearly every presenter stressed. They told us not to be afraid to fail and that school is the place to do so: take risks.

Social media was also a big part of the conference. Presentations encouraged live tweeting, not that we weren't doing that anyways. I realized that social media really is a critical part of the future so I need to know how use different platforms and stay caught up with current trends. Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, Pinterest, Google+, YouTube, just to name a few.

Experience is a big deal in the PR world. And I realized that I need more of it. So starting now, I am determined to become more involved and gain that experience that is so crucial.

It was interesting to hear from a couple different people that the days of searching 'help wanted' ads are over. We shouldn't send out resumes to a long list of potential employers. Instead, we should need to target a few companies that are particularly interesting and try to develop a connection through persistent contact. Be "ruthless."

Being able to know how to write in 140 characters or less is a necessary skill. Attention spans are getting shorter and people are going to be less willing to read entire press releases or lengthy articles. Instead, shorten the message into something that would easily fit into a tweet.

I am currently learning how to code websites which I think will be an added skill that will set me apart from other people in my field. I was talking to one of the girls from NY and she said that females are usually only do PR and guys do the tech stuff. But if I know how to do both PR and the tech side of it, I will just be that much more marketable to future employers.

I was truly inspired to reach for the stars and chase my dreams. There is so much I want to do with my life.

After this weekend, I am 110% sure that I am in the right major. I belong here. This is what I am meant to do.

It Will All Work Out

Everyone is getting married.

And having babies.

And some are doing the baby thing first.

But then there's me.

Still single.

And doing the college thing.

Sometimes I feel like I am behind.

But I just need to remember,

that everyone grows up differently.

And it's not that I am still a child.

Because I'm not.

I'm an adult with different priorities.

And that's okay.

I don't have to be like everyone else.

I'm doing my own thing at my own pace.

I'm not doing anything wrong.

We just all go in our different directions.

And what I need to keep in mind is this:

There is someone out there just for me.

And I will meet him when it's the right time.

For both of us.

xoxo,

Samantha

Wednesday's Words 5

Today's topic: Faith

I need to free myself from doubt and have faith that everything will work out. It may not happen when and how I want it to but I need to have faith and trust that God knows what He is doing. And He does.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

xoxo

sam

This is it.

Remember what it was like to be 7 years old? When you dreamed of the future and when you thought those teenage girls were so cool with their cars and boyfriends.They got to wear make-up, have pretty clothes and stay out late.

I remember those girls. I remember Chloe, Susan and Heidi (names have been changed to protect the innocent). They were so cool and I remember how I wanted to be like them. I couldn't wait to grow up. Because then I would get my drivers license, have my first kiss and go to high school. And then I would go to college and have a successful career. I couldn't wait for the future and actually believed that all my dreams would come true.

But I'm just now realizing that the future is here.

Driving is no longer exciting, I have graduated high school, my first kiss has come and gone, boys are still just as dumb and I am actually going to college.


The future is no longer this abstract idea. The future that I dreamed about as a little kid is here. It is very much the present and today's reality.

And the big question is: Was it everything I thought it would be?

No.

With less than six months remaining of my teenage years, I can't help but reflect on what I thought it would be and what it really was.

High school wasn't as glamorous as it is made out to be in the movies. In fact, some of my worst memories are from high school. Driving isn't exciting now as it was when I was 16 due to car payments, gas and insurance.

Now that I am an adult, I realize that I don't know and can't handle everything. The perception we get from our parents and other adults in our younger years are not exactly true. When I was younger, I almost half expected to receive this large amount of knowledge when I turned 18. Or maybe even 19. Or maybe it's yet to come when I turn 20. But adults really don't know everything.

Part of me wants to be a little kid again. Everything seemed so much simpler then.

xoxo

Sammy