The post I didn't want to write

This is the post I have been avoiding. The one I didn't want to write because, sometimes, putting things into words makes it more real.

My life is currently in boxes and I'm not quite sure where anything is. I spent the day packing up the remaining knick-knacks around my room and chatting with roommates. No one wants to acknowledge the looming good-byes; the parting of ways.

I know I am going to leave a part of myself in Logan. This has been my home for the last three years. I have changed so much in that time and formed many friendships. In some ways, those friendships are stronger than any I've had before. There is something about living with someone that forms a special bond. You become accustomed to their quirks and over time you notice that you have even adopted some of their traits. You now use that catchphrase or do something a particular way. That person is someone you will never forget because they have changed you.

I know that I have gone through a deep and thorough change. I am so far from that freshman walking into the dorms for the first time. I have developed new talents and explored new things. I am in a major that I never dreamed of. My life is so different from where I imagined myself being at this point.

There is one thing I won't be leaving behind: memories. That is something I will always have. I know the move to Layton will be a difficult transition for me and that there will be times when I will miss everything and everyone I knew here. But I know I will look back on these years and smile at the times we had a sleepover in an abandoned warehouse or simply the many times we stayed up way too late talking about everything.

Despite all the stress and heartbreak that accompanies the college life, I know that I am leaving a better person than I was when I came.

So as I sit here reflecting on the last few years, I can't help but get a little teary-eyed.

It's been real, Logan. I'll see ya around.

xoxo,

sam

A Party for One

I may or may not have worked forty hours this week at both jobs combined. All on top of my internship and school. Okay, let's be real. School doesn't really count this semester, but still. It's a good 6 hours out of the week. So needless to say, but I have been insanely busy this week. So when I came home tonight to an empty house, I knew it was time to party. So I had a party for one. Complete with chocolate, a crazy outfit and music. I know you wish you had been there.

A random outfit with a side pony tail.

I put on my favorite socks. They are so amazingly comfy.

Chocolate no-bake cookies were made.

 I painted my nails while the cookies cooled.

And jammed out to this song.

And this one.

How did you spend your Saturday night?

xoxo,

sam

New friends

It's no secret that I am a shy girl sometimes. When I am around people I don't know very well or don't feel comfortable with, I stop talking and take a backseat and just listen to everyone else. I'm good at observing. I was invited to a blogger meetup last night to mingle with bloggers from all over town. And to be honest, I was a little nervous about going. I only knew one person besides my cousin who came with me and I was worried because I didn't know what to expect.

But my worries were silly. From the moment I walked in the door I felt completely comfortable with these girls. A few hours of boy stories, laughs and giggles later, we took this picture and agreed to make this a monthly thing. Which I am so stoked about!

xoxo,

sam

Honey bees and dancing

Holy moly! Can you believe that tomorrow is the first day of March! Seriously, where is time going? The semester is halfway over and graduation is just two months away! .

Today I gave a presentation with these lovely ladies on a PR campaign Haagen-Dazs did to save the honey bees. So of course, we dressed up for the occasion in black and yellow.



Last night Ashley showed me this music video and I think it's the cutest thing ever. It's a fun song and I love the dancing. I'm sure you will love it too.

xoxo,

sam

End of semester thoughts

The timing is a little late because of finals and projects. But now that my worst semester is over, I feel totally valid about writing in my blog. I don't feel guilty because I am not working on some project or studying for some test.

I have good news to share: I got an internship! Starting in January, I will be a communications intern at Logan Regional Hospital.

This is all happening so perfectly. I am only taking two classes so I will have time to work and do my internship. The arrangements couldn't be better. Next semester shouldn't be nearly as busy as last semester was.

This semester was the most crazy, most stressful, most trying but most rewarding semester yet. Every hour of my day was scheduled and at times I felt like I was so hopelessly behind with no hope of catching up. But I feel a sense of accomplishment now being done. I am that much closer to graduation and with the most of my classroom learning behind me, I am ready for the experiences my internship will bring.

Oh hey, Monday!

I hope you all had a great weekend! I spent mine avoiding homework and baking pumpkin cookies {yum!} I did have a small study group last night but we ended up giving each other dating advice (see my twitter feed for details on that night @MissSamanthaG). Yesterday was also the Brigham City Temple dedication which was just so great! I was amazed at how much the chapel had the temple spirit and I enjoyed listening to the words spoken. The temple truly is the Lord's house.

After my chill weekend, I am buckling down for an intense and extremely stressful week. I have a class midterm on Friday (at 7 am I might add! Who does that?!) that I feel 100% not ready for. It's for my sales class and quite frankly, I am not a salesperson. My personality just doesn't fit with the whole "Buy my product because you need it" situation. If the midterm was an exam I wouldn't be as worried but I actually have to sell a product to my professor. Ahh! And I'm not going to even mention the other projects that are due.

On top of all that, I am working close to 30 hours this week. Seriously people, I have no idea when I am going to sleep. I was just looking over my calendar and most of my appointments for the week are overlapping with each other and work and class. I am going to have to go in to work at midnight just to get all my hours in for the week.

But today I am feeling especially productive and am determined to get a list of things done before the chalk dance tonight (its homecoming week! Go Aggies!). 

On the plus side, I only need one more signature for my graduation packet. This is actually happening. I am going to be a college graduate in seven-ish months! Can you even believe it?

My point is, I can't wait until this week is over. I am determined to make it! Everyone just may need to deal with my grumpy self until this week is over and I can catch up on sleep and life... Sorry everyone! I still love you all :)

Another Year

My summer has officially started! I finished my finals and regardless of how I feel about them, it is in the past. For the most part, I think I got pretty good grades this semester.

Friday was my last day working at the library for four whole months! You have no idea how great that sounds to me. And yesterday was moving day. After two years on my own, I am kind of nervous to be back at my parent's house for the summer. It could be really good. Or really bad. But I am going to miss my roommates, especially Ashley. I honestly don't know what I'm going to do without that girl. I am so glad that I will be close enough to Logan that I can come visit her.

And so this post is for you, Ashley, Trish and Natalie. I love you all. You are the greatest! We had some good times, made lots of memories and had many, many laughs.

xoxo

-Sam

The Season of Sun

This summer I am planning on living with my parents and hopefully getting some kind of internship or job in Salt Lake. I decided to live at home for two reasons. 1. To save money. College is expensive and it's even more expensive when your scholarship runs out. 2. Layton is a lot closer to Salt Lake than Logan. And Salt Lake is where all of the opportunities are at, it seems. So I have been trying to figure out how I will be able to adjust to family life after two years on my own. Cue the sibling squabbles, being told that it's late and to go to bed by my parents and loud brothers.

But! That was the plan before I learned about a simply incredible opportunity in an amazing city. Details are still being figured out so I'll save all of that for another post. But here's a hint.

+

=

Me freaking out!

Dear Boys

Dear Tall, Dark and Handsome

You left today.

And I'm not sure how I feel about that yet.

I hope you find what you need in life because it definitely wasn't me.

Goodbye,

Sammy

Dear Water,

I can't believe how fast time has gone.

I am counting down the days until I see you again.

There's not very many left.

Impatiently Waiting,

Sammy

Dear Gamer,

I saw you last weekend but couldn't remember what I ever saw in you.

Thanks for messing up the rest of my life.

Grudgingly,

Sammy

Dear Blank,

You were just a crush.

But why do I still secretly look for you everywhere I go?

Confused,

Samantha

Dear Nameless,

I promise I really am not a complete ditz.

I just act like it around you because you are so perfect.

Try to see past my awkwardness?

Lovingly,

Samantha

Dear Hot and Cold,

I can tell that things are changing.

And I'm not sure why that bugs me. But it does.

Can things just go back to the way they used to be?

I miss you,

Sammy

Weekend of Inspiration

This weekend I attended a PR conference. And it was fantastic!

Professionals from across the country were there to talk to us about the different areas of PR and to offer advice.

There seemed to be a continual message that nearly every presenter stressed. They told us not to be afraid to fail and that school is the place to do so: take risks.

Social media was also a big part of the conference. Presentations encouraged live tweeting, not that we weren't doing that anyways. I realized that social media really is a critical part of the future so I need to know how use different platforms and stay caught up with current trends. Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, Pinterest, Google+, YouTube, just to name a few.

Experience is a big deal in the PR world. And I realized that I need more of it. So starting now, I am determined to become more involved and gain that experience that is so crucial.

It was interesting to hear from a couple different people that the days of searching 'help wanted' ads are over. We shouldn't send out resumes to a long list of potential employers. Instead, we should need to target a few companies that are particularly interesting and try to develop a connection through persistent contact. Be "ruthless."

Being able to know how to write in 140 characters or less is a necessary skill. Attention spans are getting shorter and people are going to be less willing to read entire press releases or lengthy articles. Instead, shorten the message into something that would easily fit into a tweet.

I am currently learning how to code websites which I think will be an added skill that will set me apart from other people in my field. I was talking to one of the girls from NY and she said that females are usually only do PR and guys do the tech stuff. But if I know how to do both PR and the tech side of it, I will just be that much more marketable to future employers.

I was truly inspired to reach for the stars and chase my dreams. There is so much I want to do with my life.

After this weekend, I am 110% sure that I am in the right major. I belong here. This is what I am meant to do.

Married Man

His nickname is Married Man.

At least that's what Ashley and I call him.

And this is my story:

First, let me set the scene. I was a young, nervous and carless college freshman. I didn't have a bus that year and I had to take the bus to work. One day, I was just sitting on the bus when a guy sits down beside me. (I cringe every time I remember that I was kind of excited about this. Little did I know what would happen later with him.) He starts talking to me and soon asks for my phone number. And me being the naive little freshman that I was, gave it to him. The bus arrived at the station and we went our separate ways. And I half expected never to hear from him again.

1 day later...

To my surprise, he texts me and tries to get to know me. He seems genuinely interested and like a nice, honest guy so I start asking some questions about him. We text back and forth for about a week and that's when he mentions that he has a 1 year-old daughter. Then I got curious so I ask about her. And he let his slip that he is married!!! I remember being one hundred and ten percent shocked. It's not like he was some middle-aged man. No, he was probably around 24. I had no idea what to do. I had never really had a ton of experience with single guys let alone married men! I tried to ignore him but he kept texting and calling me. When he asked me on an official date was when I called him on the whole marriage thing. His excuse/rationale was that he wanted a divorce. Oh, well why didn't you say so before? That makes everything okay. Umm... Are you kidding me? That was the lamest excuse.

Over the next few months...

He continued to text and call me just to talk or to ask me out. Finally, I told him straight out that I wasn't interested. He told me something along the lines of this: "Are you sure? I'll give you some time to think that over. You don't know what you are giving up. But don't take too long because I won't wait around forever." He made it sound like he was doing me a favor. I told him I was sure.

3 months later...

Married Man had been silent for a few months now and I thought that I was in the clear and that he had forgotten all about me. One day, I was eating lunch with Ashley and her boyfriend when someone mentioned Married Man. They both got a kick out of this whole awkward situation and were curious as to what he looked like. But I didn't know his last name so we couldn't facebook stalk him. So they convinced me to start talking to him again. He took that the wrong way. He thought I was completely interested. I was asked to go to the movies with him. And to go to his house to "relax" after a long day at school. I was even invited to his kid's birthday party! I kept ignoring him but this guy was persistent. That summer he even wanted me to go to California with him and kids!

Earlier this year

At the beginning of his year, things eventually calmed down with him and I heard from him less and less. One might assume that is where the story ends. But no. My life wouldn't be complete without regular awkward encounters with him. Almost every time I go to Wal-Mart, I see him. I'm literally afraid to go by myself because I'm worried about running into him. One day, Ashley wasn't home and I really needed some groceries. So I put on my big-girl shoes and went alone. Bad idea. It was the most awkward of awkwardest encounters. It was a full-on shopping cart collision. I tried to get out of there as fast as possible but he wanted to talk. And of course, ask me out again.

From this point on, I will always go to the Logan Wal-Mart with a shopping buddy.

The Dating Problem

My generation has a twisted understanding of dating. A lot of young people believe that dating = hanging out.

But I am here to tell you that this is not true. They are entirely different and separate activities.

So let's break it down. What do we know about hanging out?

1. Usually unplanned. This is when you get a conversation similar to this: "So what do you want to do?" "I don't know. What do you want to do?" "I don't know..."

2. Everyone pays for themselves.

3. These hang outs are typically with the same people. Doing the same thing.

4. You are secretly wishing you were on a date with that one guy instead of sitting around having the what-do-you-want-to-do conversation.

Okay, now what about dating?

1. They are (should) be planned. Those unplanned dates are rough. And awkward.

2. The guy pays.

3. To achieve the best dating experience, date a lot of different people. And do different things. Don't get me wrong, those dinner and a movie dates have their purpose. But are not for the sixth date.

4. You are happy because you are actually on a date. It makes you feel kind of special.

So how and why has our society turned good, old-fashioned dating into hanging out? They are obviously not the same thing. I'm not going to pretend to have the answer because I don't. What I do know is this: dating has taken a back-seat while hanging out has moved in front and center.

Bottom line: Guys don't ask girls out enough. And when that date does come around the girl takes it really seriously and that can freak a guy out. So they just don't ask girls out as often until they are really serious about settling down. So less people are dating and in the mean time, we are all getting old and even more single with every passing day.

This is it.

Remember what it was like to be 7 years old? When you dreamed of the future and when you thought those teenage girls were so cool with their cars and boyfriends.They got to wear make-up, have pretty clothes and stay out late.

I remember those girls. I remember Chloe, Susan and Heidi (names have been changed to protect the innocent). They were so cool and I remember how I wanted to be like them. I couldn't wait to grow up. Because then I would get my drivers license, have my first kiss and go to high school. And then I would go to college and have a successful career. I couldn't wait for the future and actually believed that all my dreams would come true.

But I'm just now realizing that the future is here.

Driving is no longer exciting, I have graduated high school, my first kiss has come and gone, boys are still just as dumb and I am actually going to college.


The future is no longer this abstract idea. The future that I dreamed about as a little kid is here. It is very much the present and today's reality.

And the big question is: Was it everything I thought it would be?

No.

With less than six months remaining of my teenage years, I can't help but reflect on what I thought it would be and what it really was.

High school wasn't as glamorous as it is made out to be in the movies. In fact, some of my worst memories are from high school. Driving isn't exciting now as it was when I was 16 due to car payments, gas and insurance.

Now that I am an adult, I realize that I don't know and can't handle everything. The perception we get from our parents and other adults in our younger years are not exactly true. When I was younger, I almost half expected to receive this large amount of knowledge when I turned 18. Or maybe even 19. Or maybe it's yet to come when I turn 20. But adults really don't know everything.

Part of me wants to be a little kid again. Everything seemed so much simpler then.

xoxo

Sammy

Dear Boys

This is my attempt at a dear boys post. I've read a few of them and I think I have it figured out. This was inspired by a dear boys post written by my friend, Elise. You should totally check out her blog. It's pretty awesome!

Dear Old Man,

No, I don't want to spend a month with you.

At your cabin in the woods.

In Alaska.

Sincerly,

Find someone your own age

Dear Wal-Mart,

Why do you have so many creepy married shoppers?

Sincerly,

I'm shopping somewhere else

Dear Mr. Hotty,

Please just talk to her.

It would make life so much easier for everyone involved.

Sincerly,

Her roommate

Dear Hot and Single Guys of Logan,

Where are you all hiding?

There's got to be more.

Sincerely,

I'm done playing hide-and-go seek

Dear School,

I'm not liking this girl to boy ratio that remains consistent in my classes.

If only I didn't love my major so much...

Sincerely,

Disappointed

Dear Old Friend,
I haven't seen you in awhile.

I hope you're doing well...
Sincerely,

Please don't forget me

Dear Hot and Cold,
You used to mean so much more.
But you changed.
So I changed my mind.
Sincerely,
I'm letting go

Dear Married Man,

No, I don't want to go to Cali with you.

Or attend your kid's b-day party.

Or go to the movies with you.

Or come over to 'relax'.

Sincerly,

Please stop asking

xoxo,

Sam

  If you have any Dear Boys of your own, share them with everyone in a comment below.

What A Great Day!

In one word, today was amazing!

Like seriously you guys, it was awesome. Church was just what I needed. In sacrament there was this quote:

"Be of good cheer. Your future is as bright as your faith." ~Pres. Monson

I have heard that quote before somewhere, but today it really hit me. Because last night I had a mini freak-out about my life. I was applying for internships and realized that I don't have to much applicable experience that would make someone want me as intern. Sure, I have had a job since I was 16, but being a gymnastics coach doesn't mean anything to a PR firm. Needless to say I was a little worried. But at this point there isn't a whole lot I can do. That's what I thought until I went to church this morning. If I start reading my scriptures and praying again that my faith will increase and I know I will be blessed for it.

And if that wasn't enough, Sunday School was just as good. It was about the BOM which made me want to start reading it even more. Then Relief Society was combined with the men and take a guess about what the lesson was about. You guessed it! The BOM! I was so ready to start my new goal by the end of church.

My afternoon was spent with my amazing roommates. Singing, pudding and YouTube. We had a lot of good laughs. Oh, and nail painting may or may not have occurred.

Some boys invited us over to their place for dinner. They cooked us a wonderful meal complete with a pot roast and potatoes. And followed it up with Better Than You-Know-What Cake. 

The Spectrum was almost filled to capacity today. There was a fireside that Elder Ballard spoke at. And guess what the main theme was? Joseph Smith. I think someone up above was trying to send me a message today. Message received!

After walking home in the cold tonight, I couldn't wait to put on some comfy sweats and make some hot chocolate.

Good night everyone! And don't forget to smile just because today was a great day!

xoxo,

Sam

Procrastination... In Progress

Procrastination.

One of my worst habits and biggest flaws.

Even as as I write this I am procrastinating. But not as bad as usual. I finished studying for my exam in my next class and didn't bring anything else to the computer lab. So I have a half hour to kill and what better way than to write this.

Last night I had this assignment. A beast of an assignment. For a class that I loathe. Communication research. The teacher is extremely vague and only explains things one way. With boxes and arrows. How much sense can you make from boxes and arrows? It is a confusing class that really has no purpose. I will be doing the writing in my job and if need research done, I will go to the research person because that is their job. Almost everyone I have talked to are just as confused as I am.

So for this assignment I had to look at two different articles and identify specific parts of research. And then diagram it using the teachers box and arrow method that makes absolutely no sense. So I finished that part and then I had to write an op-ed piece. I have little experience writing one of the those. So mine is crap. Last semester in my newswriting class, we were constantly told to avoid number because it confuses readers. So I have always avoided numbers in my writing but for this assignment we had to "use numbers in a convincing way". How do you do that? We haven't been taught anything about how to write with numbers. Classes consist of boxes and arrows. Boxes and arrows.

Well, that got totally off topic. From procrastination to a rant about a class. Let's get back to my original point.

Last semester I had a planner that I wrote all my assignments down in. But this semester I have very few assignments and A TON of reading. So it's kind of useless to just writing "reading" down for everyday. I know I have reading to do. So the planner is ineffective this semester, for the most part. And the reading is boring and textbooks are never fun to read. So it's very easy to put off.

But it's piling up.

Okay, maybe not that much. More like this.

But that's still a lot...

This weekend is going to be one of those 'catch-up-on-life-or-die' weekends.

Wish me luck.

xoxo

Samantha

Halfway!

It hit me yesterday. I am halfway through college! I have successfully completed three semesters and that means I only have three more to go! It's like I can almost see a light at the end of the tunnel. A future that doesn't consist of fighting over the shower with roommates. Or regular dinners of pasta just because it is quick. Or freezing my butt off in Logan. The end is coming. And then I will be a college graduate!

But looking back, I can't believe how fast time has gone. I mean, living in the dorms seems like it was forever ago. But it really was only a year. Looking back on the classes I have taken I am impressed with what I was able to do and accomplish.

I can do hard things.

Like that geography class I took my very first semester. That was the worst grade I have ever gotten. In fact, that was my very first B. And honestly, I was devastated. But I survived the class and I can proudly say that my grades have improved every semester.

This semester is going to be intense. All of my classes have heavy reading assignments. Like tons of and tons of pages. But I'm still have that happy and excited attitude that I seem to start every semester with.

Intro to Public Relations - T/TR 10:30
Ethics in Genetic Engineering and Biotechnology - T/TR 1:30
Communication Research - T/TR 3:00
Sociology of Work - T/TR 4:30
Art Symposium - Online
Total Credits = 14

I am pretty excited about most of my classes this semester. I am taking a lighter load than I usually do but that's okay. And I'm sure I will still be very, very busy. I am still working 20 hours a week. So rarely do I have spare time. That is becoming a foreign concept to me. My education is a big and complete mess. I can't take this class because I don't have this prerequisite. And I can't take this class because I don't have enough credits. And blah blah blah. So I was kind of stuck for classes so I filled it with some electives because I need a few more upper division credits. So why not take them now and get them out of the way? Exactly.

College.

xoxo

samantha

I Can't Wait To Meet Her

Jumping head first into the unknown is scary.  And intimidating.  But it's good for us.  It teaches us things about ourselves we never knew before.  Trying new things provides insight into life and it's purpose.  Growing and learning is a natural part to life so it only makes sense that trying new things is essential.  But sometimes, when life gets really scary, we hold back and don't let ourselves push our boundaries.  And that, my friends, is the truly scary part.  Those moments when we are too afraid to allow ourselves to grow and slowly evolve into a new person.  We may be scared for many different reasons.  Maybe you are worried about what others will think.  Or maybe it is something you never believed you would have to face and now it is right there in front of you.  Or maybe it's the uncertainty surrounding the haze of the unknown.  Whatever the reason may be, it is in those moments that we really learn the most about ourselves.  In those moments that we are faced with the decision of pressing through it or finding a different path through life.  But I am certain that the alternate paths will be less rewarding and less satisfying.  Once we start down one of the 'easier' paths, we are forced to life with the regret and all of the "what if's" and unfortunately, there is no rewind button in life.  We are left with no choice but to keep pressing forward on this new path we have chosen.

A new school year is just about to start and I am anxious to see where life will take me in the next twelve months.  I know without a doubt that I will be, in no shape or form, the same person I am today.  Both the good and bad times will re-define me and I only hope that despite all the differences I will emerge a better person.  And I can't wait to meet her.

Neglect and an Excuse

I will admit, I have neglected my blog over the last month or so.  And the only excuse I really have is that I've been busy.  So I guess it's up to my readers to decide if that is a valid excuse or not.

So what exactly have I been so busy with?  I went to Canada for two weeks, which has definitely has been the highlight of my summer.  We had our own little 'Gregson Family Tour of Alberta', stopping in Magrath, Calgary and Edmonton.  And even taking a day trip to go to Banff and see the Canadian Rockies and Lake Louise.  Plus it was great to see all of my family again and to just have a vacation and leave life and all responsibilities behind in the states.  Now I am back to working everyday and trying to plan a bridal shower for my one of my bestest friends.  I still can't believe she is getting married!!  I have been super stressed with this and I know I shouldn't be but I want it to turn out perfect.  And this isn't your typical bridal shower either.  It will be an open house for friends, family and ward members.  So basically all the different types of showers combined into one big one.  And then on top of all that, the fall semester starts in two weeks!  I am so freaking excited!  I won't have to be a boring and super responsible adult anymore; I can be a fun and somewhat responsible student.  So I'll be saying goodbye to working full time and hello to friends in just a few short weeks!

But, It's My Dream!

Dreams, goals and aspirations; they all are a governing force in our lives.  They are points we wish to reach in our life time.  They are destinations we want to end up at.  Without dreams, life can be quite dull.  How we act and the decisions we make are ultimately determined by our dreams.  We desperately want to reach our goals and actualize our dreams, so we are willing to make the necessary.  For example, an aspiring college student is going to put forth the time and effort to be involved and get good grades in high school in order to be accepted into their dream college.


Lately, I have been thinking about what my dreams and what exactly I want to achieve in life and making my own bucket list.  Here are just a few of my dreams.


★ graduate college ***in progress***
★ temple marriage
★ write a song
★ adopt
★ live in NYC
★ meet Taylor Swift
★ learn to play the guitar ***in progress***
★ see the northern lights
★ find a 4-leaf clover
★ catch fireflies
★ help baby sea turtles make it to the ocean
★ go on a humanitarian trip to a foreign country


Dreams are what keep us going in life.  Without them, what would we have to look forward to?  What would be purpose of living?  My dreams keep me going during the rough patches and help me stay focused on what I really want.




And I just have to include this video clip.  One, because it has to do with dreams. And two, it stars the one and only, Taylor Swift!