The timing is a little late because of finals and projects. But now that my worst semester is over, I feel totally valid about writing in my blog. I don't feel guilty because I am not working on some project or studying for some test.
I have good news to share: I got an internship! Starting in January, I will be a communications intern at Logan Regional Hospital.
This is all happening so perfectly. I am only taking two classes so I will have time to work and do my internship. The arrangements couldn't be better. Next semester shouldn't be nearly as busy as last semester was.
This semester was the most crazy, most stressful, most trying but most rewarding semester yet. Every hour of my day was scheduled and at times I felt like I was so hopelessly behind with no hope of catching up. But I feel a sense of accomplishment now being done. I am that much closer to graduation and with the most of my classroom learning behind me, I am ready for the experiences my internship will bring.
Showing posts with label dreams. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dreams. Show all posts
Sunday, December 16, 2012
Monday, April 30, 2012
Failure
Maybe everyone goes through times where they feel like they have failed miserably. Or maybe it's just me. Either way, as much as I hate to admit it, I have failed.
A few weeks ago, I was on top of the world. Everything seemed to be going just right and the pieces of my life appeared to be finally falling together to create a neat little picture of the life I always wanted. But last week, all that came crashing down and exploded in my face. I felt extremely helpless as I watched my life fall apart and there was nothing I could do. I feel like life gave me just a small glimpse of the things I wanted and have worked hard to achieve and then rudely takes it all away. I'm sure Fate is laughing at me from afar.
I feel like a failure and a disappointment. I was so sure that I was going to get a really cool internship this summer and get lots of really neat experience while meeting awesome people. And then I would come back to school and not have to worry about money and just enjoy my senior year. By all indications, I was so sure things were going to work out just that way I wanted. But then day after day I got my answers. No. No. Nope. No. I was denied everything I had hoped for and counted on. Now I am back at the beginning and have to figure things out all over again. It's almost overwhelming to think about. I had counted on that scholarship, I had prayed for that internship, I had hoped for that job. And those were just some of the big things. Even the small things were going wrong.
I was so devastated that it effected me physically. I couldn't sleep and I just felt horrible all the time. I didn't want to do anything and all my motivation for school was suddenly gone. I honestly felt like crying all the time.
I think it's a human shortcoming to compare ourselves to others. I know I do it. And while everyone around me is achieving their dreams and doing great things with their lives, I feel like I'm stuck. Stuck and not moving forward. In fact, sometimes I feel like I'm actually moving backwards. It seems like all the forces are fighting against me and everything I do takes a substantial amount of effort while everyone else achieves things effortlessly.
For three short weeks, I felt like I was on Cloud 9. Looking back, I feels like it was all a dream and that I blindly, and even naively, believed that something that awesome would actually happen to me. I should have known better and then maybe, just maybe, I would have saved myself from this disappointment.
xoxo
-Sam
A few weeks ago, I was on top of the world. Everything seemed to be going just right and the pieces of my life appeared to be finally falling together to create a neat little picture of the life I always wanted. But last week, all that came crashing down and exploded in my face. I felt extremely helpless as I watched my life fall apart and there was nothing I could do. I feel like life gave me just a small glimpse of the things I wanted and have worked hard to achieve and then rudely takes it all away. I'm sure Fate is laughing at me from afar.
I feel like a failure and a disappointment. I was so sure that I was going to get a really cool internship this summer and get lots of really neat experience while meeting awesome people. And then I would come back to school and not have to worry about money and just enjoy my senior year. By all indications, I was so sure things were going to work out just that way I wanted. But then day after day I got my answers. No. No. Nope. No. I was denied everything I had hoped for and counted on. Now I am back at the beginning and have to figure things out all over again. It's almost overwhelming to think about. I had counted on that scholarship, I had prayed for that internship, I had hoped for that job. And those were just some of the big things. Even the small things were going wrong.
I was so devastated that it effected me physically. I couldn't sleep and I just felt horrible all the time. I didn't want to do anything and all my motivation for school was suddenly gone. I honestly felt like crying all the time.
I think it's a human shortcoming to compare ourselves to others. I know I do it. And while everyone around me is achieving their dreams and doing great things with their lives, I feel like I'm stuck. Stuck and not moving forward. In fact, sometimes I feel like I'm actually moving backwards. It seems like all the forces are fighting against me and everything I do takes a substantial amount of effort while everyone else achieves things effortlessly.
For three short weeks, I felt like I was on Cloud 9. Looking back, I feels like it was all a dream and that I blindly, and even naively, believed that something that awesome would actually happen to me. I should have known better and then maybe, just maybe, I would have saved myself from this disappointment.
-Sam
Friday, April 6, 2012
The Season of Sun
But! That was the plan before I learned about a simply incredible opportunity in an amazing city. Details are still being figured out so I'll save all of that for another post. But here's a hint.
+
=
Me freaking out!
Sunday, March 4, 2012
Weekend of Inspiration
This weekend I attended a PR conference. And it was fantastic!
Professionals from across the country were there to talk to us about the different areas of PR and to offer advice.
There seemed to be a continual message that nearly every presenter stressed. They told us not to be afraid to fail and that school is the place to do so: take risks.
Social media was also a big part of the conference. Presentations encouraged live tweeting, not that we weren't doing that anyways. I realized that social media really is a critical part of the future so I need to know how use different platforms and stay caught up with current trends. Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, Pinterest, Google+, YouTube, just to name a few.
Experience is a big deal in the PR world. And I realized that I need more of it. So starting now, I am determined to become more involved and gain that experience that is so crucial.
It was interesting to hear from a couple different people that the days of searching 'help wanted' ads are over. We shouldn't send out resumes to a long list of potential employers. Instead, we should need to target a few companies that are particularly interesting and try to develop a connection through persistent contact. Be "ruthless."
Being able to know how to write in 140 characters or less is a necessary skill. Attention spans are getting shorter and people are going to be less willing to read entire press releases or lengthy articles. Instead, shorten the message into something that would easily fit into a tweet.
I am currently learning how to code websites which I think will be an added skill that will set me apart from other people in my field. I was talking to one of the girls from NY and she said that females are usually only do PR and guys do the tech stuff. But if I know how to do both PR and the tech side of it, I will just be that much more marketable to future employers.
I was truly inspired to reach for the stars and chase my dreams. There is so much I want to do with my life.
After this weekend, I am 110% sure that I am in the right major. I belong here. This is what I am meant to do.
Professionals from across the country were there to talk to us about the different areas of PR and to offer advice.
There seemed to be a continual message that nearly every presenter stressed. They told us not to be afraid to fail and that school is the place to do so: take risks.
Social media was also a big part of the conference. Presentations encouraged live tweeting, not that we weren't doing that anyways. I realized that social media really is a critical part of the future so I need to know how use different platforms and stay caught up with current trends. Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, Pinterest, Google+, YouTube, just to name a few.
Experience is a big deal in the PR world. And I realized that I need more of it. So starting now, I am determined to become more involved and gain that experience that is so crucial.
It was interesting to hear from a couple different people that the days of searching 'help wanted' ads are over. We shouldn't send out resumes to a long list of potential employers. Instead, we should need to target a few companies that are particularly interesting and try to develop a connection through persistent contact. Be "ruthless."
Being able to know how to write in 140 characters or less is a necessary skill. Attention spans are getting shorter and people are going to be less willing to read entire press releases or lengthy articles. Instead, shorten the message into something that would easily fit into a tweet.
I am currently learning how to code websites which I think will be an added skill that will set me apart from other people in my field. I was talking to one of the girls from NY and she said that females are usually only do PR and guys do the tech stuff. But if I know how to do both PR and the tech side of it, I will just be that much more marketable to future employers.
I was truly inspired to reach for the stars and chase my dreams. There is so much I want to do with my life.
After this weekend, I am 110% sure that I am in the right major. I belong here. This is what I am meant to do.
Thursday, February 16, 2012
It Will All Work Out
And having babies.
And some are doing the baby thing first.
But then there's me.
Still single.
And doing the college thing.
Sometimes I feel like I am behind.
But I just need to remember,
that everyone grows up differently.
And it's not that I am still a child.
Because I'm not.
I'm an adult with different priorities.
And that's okay.
I don't have to be like everyone else.
I'm doing my own thing at my own pace.
I'm not doing anything wrong.
We just all go in our different directions.
And what I need to keep in mind is this:
There is someone out there just for me.
And I will meet him when it's the right time.
For both of us.
xoxo,
Samantha
Thursday, February 9, 2012
This is it.
Remember what it was like to be 7 years old? When you dreamed of the future and when you thought those teenage girls were so cool with their cars and boyfriends.They got to wear make-up, have pretty clothes and stay out late.
I remember those girls. I remember Chloe, Susan and Heidi (names have been changed to protect the innocent). They were so cool and I remember how I wanted to be like them. I couldn't wait to grow up. Because then I would get my drivers license, have my first kiss and go to high school. And then I would go to college and have a successful career. I couldn't wait for the future and actually believed that all my dreams would come true.
But I'm just now realizing that the future is here.
Driving is no longer exciting, I have graduated high school, my first kiss has come and gone, boys are still just as dumb and I am actually going to college.
The future is no longer this abstract idea. The future that I dreamed about as a little kid is here. It is very much the present and today's reality.
And the big question is: Was it everything I thought it would be?
No.
With less than six months remaining of my teenage years, I can't help but reflect on what I thought it would be and what it really was.
High school wasn't as glamorous as it is made out to be in the movies. In fact, some of my worst memories are from high school. Driving isn't exciting now as it was when I was 16 due to car payments, gas and insurance.
Now that I am an adult, I realize that I don't know and can't handle everything. The perception we get from our parents and other adults in our younger years are not exactly true. When I was younger, I almost half expected to receive this large amount of knowledge when I turned 18. Or maybe even 19. Or maybe it's yet to come when I turn 20. But adults really don't know everything.
Part of me wants to be a little kid again. Everything seemed so much simpler then.
I remember those girls. I remember Chloe, Susan and Heidi (names have been changed to protect the innocent). They were so cool and I remember how I wanted to be like them. I couldn't wait to grow up. Because then I would get my drivers license, have my first kiss and go to high school. And then I would go to college and have a successful career. I couldn't wait for the future and actually believed that all my dreams would come true.
But I'm just now realizing that the future is here.
Driving is no longer exciting, I have graduated high school, my first kiss has come and gone, boys are still just as dumb and I am actually going to college.
The future is no longer this abstract idea. The future that I dreamed about as a little kid is here. It is very much the present and today's reality.
And the big question is: Was it everything I thought it would be?
No.
With less than six months remaining of my teenage years, I can't help but reflect on what I thought it would be and what it really was.
High school wasn't as glamorous as it is made out to be in the movies. In fact, some of my worst memories are from high school. Driving isn't exciting now as it was when I was 16 due to car payments, gas and insurance.
Now that I am an adult, I realize that I don't know and can't handle everything. The perception we get from our parents and other adults in our younger years are not exactly true. When I was younger, I almost half expected to receive this large amount of knowledge when I turned 18. Or maybe even 19. Or maybe it's yet to come when I turn 20. But adults really don't know everything.
Part of me wants to be a little kid again. Everything seemed so much simpler then.
xoxo
Sammy
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Saturday, October 8, 2011
I had the Time of My Life with You
Wonderstruck.
If I had to sum up the night of Sept. 28, that would be the word: wonderstruck.
That night was a dream come true. I GOT TO SEE TAYLOR SWIFT IN CONCERT!! :D
I went with my sister down to Salt Lake and we took A TON of pictures and videos (I filled up my entire memory card).
I can't wait for the next concert! =)
**Sorry for the poor quality of the videos and pictures. We were pretty high up and the zoom on my camera just wasn't good enough.
If I had to sum up the night of Sept. 28, that would be the word: wonderstruck.
That night was a dream come true. I GOT TO SEE TAYLOR SWIFT IN CONCERT!! :D
I went with my sister down to Salt Lake and we took A TON of pictures and videos (I filled up my entire memory card).
This picture was tricky. It took us like 5 minutes to balance the camera on the back of my car on top of our purses
We got makeovers from Covergirl. Maddi's turned out so much better than mine. BUT, we got FREE makeup! Mascara, lip gloss, lipstick, EVERYTHING. They were just handing it out to everyone. I won't need to buy any for a long time :)
Just waiting for the concert to start. And being very impatient.
This band was so bad that I don't even remember their name.
Needtobreathe was actually pretty good.
Taylor coming out on stage. FINALLY!
Some (of the the better) pictures of Taylor
Taylor Swift's cover of Animal by Neon Trees. She said she chose this song because the band is from Provo.
Haunted
This was my absolute favorite part. She ended by singing Love Story and she got in this balcony looking thing and flew around the arena above the crowd. And there was sparkly confetti all over. Amazing.
I can't wait for the next concert! =)
**Sorry for the poor quality of the videos and pictures. We were pretty high up and the zoom on my camera just wasn't good enough.
Friday, August 26, 2011
19 and Single
I am 19 and single. Why am I so love-sick??
It seems like every single time I get on Facebook someone else is engaged or someone else has started a wedding countdown or someone else has just got married. I have been feeling like the ugly duckling this entire time.
But, what I have realized is that there is no reason for me to feel that way! These people who are getting married at 18 or 19 and right out of high school will probably just add to the statistic of marriages that fail. Why am I envying this??
I am only 19 years old! I am a baby in terms of a life span. Yet, I was feeling like I was destined for a life of TV reruns, bad Chinese food, and a collection of cats to keep me company. I was scared of a life alone. WHY?? I have my whole life ahead of me! I am happy and loved by my friends and family and I'm SINGLE! I can do whatever, whenever, and without having to answer to anyone!
But, instead of embracing my life as it is and loving the people I am surrounded by, I have become cynical and sullen and perpetually lonely. That stops. Now. I am thrilled to say that I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I will find love, but I am not going to find it sitting on a couch watching chick flicks and hating my single-ness. I have to go out there and live my single life that way it should be lived- FREE! And by free, I mean independence. It's not relying on anyone for anything or being relied on.
There are so many things I want to do. So many places I want to see.
There are so many things I want to do. So many places I want to see.
Here's to the end of the lonely nights, the sad, boring personality, the down trodden face, the love-sick girl that could be found journaling her thoughts with Ben and Jerry. And here's to the beginning of my new life. A life filled with friends and family and fun and happiness and freedom.
I honestly feel bad for those people that have and/or are about to become tied down with a husband or wife and kids before they can even legally drink. While you have tied your life with responsibilities and commitment at such a young and carefree age; I will be out living mine. Like I should be.
I will find love one day. But it will be when I have experienced life and am ready to settle down. Until then, I am more than willing to wait with my head held high.
I am a new person. I am single and free. And I will be happy.
Thursday, July 7, 2011
This Ain't A Fairy Tale
In fairy tales, the bad guy is always wearing a black cape, and you always know who he is. And then you wake up and you grow up. And when you grow you up, you realize that maybe Prince Charming isn’t as easy to find as you thought and that maybe the bad guy is not so easy to spot. Maybe the bad guy is not wearing a black cape at all. In real life, the bad guy is actually really, really cute.
Thursday, May 26, 2011
But, It's My Dream!
Dreams, goals and aspirations; they all are a governing force in our lives. They are points we wish to reach in our life time. They are destinations we want to end up at. Without dreams, life can be quite dull. How we act and the decisions we make are ultimately determined by our dreams. We desperately want to reach our goals and actualize our dreams, so we are willing to make the necessary. For example, an aspiring college student is going to put forth the time and effort to be involved and get good grades in high school in order to be accepted into their dream college.
Lately, I have been thinking about what my dreams and what exactly I want to achieve in life and making my own bucket list. Here are just a few of my dreams.
★ graduate college ***in progress***
★ temple marriage
★ write a song
★ adopt
★ live in NYC
★ meet Taylor Swift
★ learn to play the guitar ***in progress***
★ see the northern lights
★ find a 4-leaf clover
★ catch fireflies
★ help baby sea turtles make it to the ocean
★ go on a humanitarian trip to a foreign country
Dreams are what keep us going in life. Without them, what would we have to look forward to? What would be purpose of living? My dreams keep me going during the rough patches and help me stay focused on what I really want.
And I just have to include this video clip. One, because it has to do with dreams. And two, it stars the one and only, Taylor Swift!
Lately, I have been thinking about what my dreams and what exactly I want to achieve in life and making my own bucket list. Here are just a few of my dreams.
★ graduate college ***in progress***
★ temple marriage
★ write a song
★ adopt
★ live in NYC
★ meet Taylor Swift
★ learn to play the guitar ***in progress***
★ see the northern lights
★ find a 4-leaf clover
★ catch fireflies
★ help baby sea turtles make it to the ocean
★ go on a humanitarian trip to a foreign country
Dreams are what keep us going in life. Without them, what would we have to look forward to? What would be purpose of living? My dreams keep me going during the rough patches and help me stay focused on what I really want.
And I just have to include this video clip. One, because it has to do with dreams. And two, it stars the one and only, Taylor Swift!
Sunday, May 22, 2011
I Believe...
I believe...
That two people can look at the same thing and see something completely different.
I believe...
That it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you must forgive yourself.
I believe...
That our background and circumstances may influence who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.
I believe...
That no matter how bad your heart is broken, the world keeps moving on.
I believe...
That no matter how good of a friend a person is, they are going to hurt you once in a while and you must forgive them for that.
I believe...
That you either control your attitude or it controls you.
I believe...
That sometimes what you are searching for is really right in front of you.
I believe...
That we must make the best of what we have.
I believe...
That anything is possible.
That two people can look at the same thing and see something completely different.
I believe...
That it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you must forgive yourself.
I believe...
That our background and circumstances may influence who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.
I believe...
That no matter how bad your heart is broken, the world keeps moving on.
I believe...
That no matter how good of a friend a person is, they are going to hurt you once in a while and you must forgive them for that.
I believe...
That you either control your attitude or it controls you.
I believe...
That sometimes what you are searching for is really right in front of you.
I believe...
That we must make the best of what we have.
I believe...
That anything is possible.
Thursday, April 28, 2011
The View From Up Here
I stood there staring at myself in the dressing room mirror. The jeans I was trying on looked amazing! I was excited to finally find the perfect pair after shopping for hours. After I had spent hours searching countless stores and browsed the endless clothing racks I had finally found them: the hip-hugging jeans that not only made my butt look great but were actually long enough!
That's right. I am one of those few supposedly lucky women to be 'blessed' with height and those long legs most women long for. However, I am here to tell you that being tall is not as great as people may believe it is. In elementary school I was the tall girl in the back row of class pictures, the girl who towered over the boys, the girl who always stood out.
Now that I have reached my adult height, I still wish I was shorter. Just a few inches. It is ridiculously hard to find pants that are long enough and don't make me look like a hippie from the 70's. Pants aren't the only challenge, shopping for any kind of clothing is difficult. Dresses and skirts become too short. Shirts aren't long enough. I usually have to settle for a bigger size but with the little bit of added length comes the bagginess of a too-large shirt. Heels are a completely different issue! Being tall already, why in the world would I want to add inches?! But I do love heels. But I don't particularly like the way they make me tower over everyone. Guys don't necessarily want to date a girl who is taller than them, which makes dating difficult as well. Gah! Everything is made complicated by being so tall!
Of course, people are always jealous of my height. They just don't understand why I don't like it. I mean who wouldn't love being tall when you can reach things on the top shelf, right? Oh, and I could be a model! I don't know how many times I have heard that one. Very few girls achieve model status and I just don't think that is in my future. Believe me, if I could give you a few of my inches, I would.
Growing up, people would always say to wait until I got older and then I would embrace my height and love it. Well I guess I am still waiting for that to happen.
That's right. I am one of those few supposedly lucky women to be 'blessed' with height and those long legs most women long for. However, I am here to tell you that being tall is not as great as people may believe it is. In elementary school I was the tall girl in the back row of class pictures, the girl who towered over the boys, the girl who always stood out.
Now that I have reached my adult height, I still wish I was shorter. Just a few inches. It is ridiculously hard to find pants that are long enough and don't make me look like a hippie from the 70's. Pants aren't the only challenge, shopping for any kind of clothing is difficult. Dresses and skirts become too short. Shirts aren't long enough. I usually have to settle for a bigger size but with the little bit of added length comes the bagginess of a too-large shirt. Heels are a completely different issue! Being tall already, why in the world would I want to add inches?! But I do love heels. But I don't particularly like the way they make me tower over everyone. Guys don't necessarily want to date a girl who is taller than them, which makes dating difficult as well. Gah! Everything is made complicated by being so tall!
Of course, people are always jealous of my height. They just don't understand why I don't like it. I mean who wouldn't love being tall when you can reach things on the top shelf, right? Oh, and I could be a model! I don't know how many times I have heard that one. Very few girls achieve model status and I just don't think that is in my future. Believe me, if I could give you a few of my inches, I would.
Growing up, people would always say to wait until I got older and then I would embrace my height and love it. Well I guess I am still waiting for that to happen.
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
dreams.
Over the past few weeks, I have had many of those super real feeling dreams. Here are a few of them:
The first one I remember, I was getting married. Although, I never saw his face. He was always busy or in the other room. The only contact during the dream was a few phone calls. It was so real! I remember feeling the way I think I were feeling while planning a wedding; the emotions were so real! I saw the reception, although I don't remember many of the details. I actually don't remember a lot of the details from the entire dream, but I remember how I felt. How happy and satisfied with life I was.
Last night, I dreamed I was a mother. I was suddenly in the hospital and was handed a small bundle, I remember being confused and the sudden realization that this was my son. He was so small and perfect with brown hair and brown eyes. Again, I felt strong emotions is this dream, as I clearly remember the panic I felt when I realized that I could not take care of him; I was not married and still in college. I remember the tough decision I had to make between adoption or being a single mother. In the end I chose adoption, but was able to name him, and chose the name James.
I don't know what all these dreams mean, or if they have some sort of significance because they were so clear and strong. Over Thanksgiving, I talked to my dad about them, and he told me that those dreams are the ones to pay attention too, especially if they made that big of an impression on me.
The first one I remember, I was getting married. Although, I never saw his face. He was always busy or in the other room. The only contact during the dream was a few phone calls. It was so real! I remember feeling the way I think I were feeling while planning a wedding; the emotions were so real! I saw the reception, although I don't remember many of the details. I actually don't remember a lot of the details from the entire dream, but I remember how I felt. How happy and satisfied with life I was.
Last night, I dreamed I was a mother. I was suddenly in the hospital and was handed a small bundle, I remember being confused and the sudden realization that this was my son. He was so small and perfect with brown hair and brown eyes. Again, I felt strong emotions is this dream, as I clearly remember the panic I felt when I realized that I could not take care of him; I was not married and still in college. I remember the tough decision I had to make between adoption or being a single mother. In the end I chose adoption, but was able to name him, and chose the name James.
I don't know what all these dreams mean, or if they have some sort of significance because they were so clear and strong. Over Thanksgiving, I talked to my dad about them, and he told me that those dreams are the ones to pay attention too, especially if they made that big of an impression on me.
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