Friday, February 24, 2012

Married Man

His nickname is Married Man.

At least that's what Ashley and I call him.

And this is my story:

First, let me set the scene. I was a young, nervous and carless college freshman. I didn't have a bus that year and I had to take the bus to work. One day, I was just sitting on the bus when a guy sits down beside me. (I cringe every time I remember that I was kind of excited about this. Little did I know what would happen later with him.) He starts talking to me and soon asks for my phone number. And me being the naive little freshman that I was, gave it to him. The bus arrived at the station and we went our separate ways. And I half expected never to hear from him again.

1 day later...

To my surprise, he texts me and tries to get to know me. He seems genuinely interested and like a nice, honest guy so I start asking some questions about him. We text back and forth for about a week and that's when he mentions that he has a 1 year-old daughter. Then I got curious so I ask about her. And he let his slip that he is married!!! I remember being one hundred and ten percent shocked. It's not like he was some middle-aged man. No, he was probably around 24. I had no idea what to do. I had never really had a ton of experience with single guys let alone married men! I tried to ignore him but he kept texting and calling me. When he asked me on an official date was when I called him on the whole marriage thing. His excuse/rationale was that he wanted a divorce. Oh, well why didn't you say so before? That makes everything okay. Umm... Are you kidding me? That was the lamest excuse.

Over the next few months...

He continued to text and call me just to talk or to ask me out. Finally, I told him straight out that I wasn't interested. He told me something along the lines of this: "Are you sure? I'll give you some time to think that over. You don't know what you are giving up. But don't take too long because I won't wait around forever." He made it sound like he was doing me a favor. I told him I was sure.

3 months later...

Married Man had been silent for a few months now and I thought that I was in the clear and that he had forgotten all about me. One day, I was eating lunch with Ashley and her boyfriend when someone mentioned Married Man. They both got a kick out of this whole awkward situation and were curious as to what he looked like. But I didn't know his last name so we couldn't facebook stalk him. So they convinced me to start talking to him again. He took that the wrong way. He thought I was completely interested. I was asked to go to the movies with him. And to go to his house to "relax" after a long day at school. I was even invited to his kid's birthday party! I kept ignoring him but this guy was persistent. That summer he even wanted me to go to California with him and kids!

Earlier this year

At the beginning of his year, things eventually calmed down with him and I heard from him less and less. One might assume that is where the story ends. But no. My life wouldn't be complete without regular awkward encounters with him. Almost every time I go to Wal-Mart, I see him. I'm literally afraid to go by myself because I'm worried about running into him. One day, Ashley wasn't home and I really needed some groceries. So I put on my big-girl shoes and went alone. Bad idea. It was the most awkward of awkwardest encounters. It was a full-on shopping cart collision. I tried to get out of there as fast as possible but he wanted to talk. And of course, ask me out again.

From this point on, I will always go to the Logan Wal-Mart with a shopping buddy.


  1. OH MY GOSH SAM!!!!! That's SOOOO creepy!!!!! Ew and ew! If you ever need a shopping buddy and Ashley's not there. Hit me up. :) I'll protect you! :)

  2. Hahahaha! Oh, Married Man...what a creeper. I forgot about this story. I'm sorry you see him a lot, that this extremely awkward!


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