Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Dear Blank

These are so funny.  Thought I would share with you all.  Enjoy! :)

Dear Anne Frank,
     They read mine too!
        Sincerely, wimpy kid.

Dear National Association of Procrastinators,
     That is quite the acronym.
        Sincerely, I think I'll join you.

Dear Dunkin' Donuts,
     Having a slogan like "American runs on Dunkin'" isn't helping our image.
       Sincerely, America.

Dear childhood pop songs,
     When I listen to you now, I realize how many of the lyrics I didn't understand back then.
       Sincerely, can't believe 8-year-old me sang along to that.

Dear Lady GaGa,
     Do you have you on your iPod?
       Sincerely, curious.

Dear calculus,
     Cee Lo Green called, he said "forget you."
       Sincerely, ruined GPA.

Dear mom,
     If you are always saying "You shouldn't care what other people think about you," why do you obsessively clean the house every time we have guests?
       Sincerely, your child.

Dear companies who fire their employees for things posted on their Facebook pages,
     Stop creepin'!
       Sincerely, annoyed.

Dear cake in the fridge labeled "Do not eat me!",
     Don't tell me what to do!
       Sincerely, loved every bite.

Dear America,
     Tomorrow was awesome!
       Sincerely, Australia.

Dear favorite song,
     How is it you never get stuck in my head, but the annoying songs repeat over and over?
       Sincerely, "It's Friday, Friday..."

Dear McDonalds,
     If bars aren't allowed to serve drunk people, surely you shouldn't be allowed to serve fat people.
       Sincerely, makes sense to me.

Dear sneeze,
     Please come out of my nose already.
       Sincerely, my about-to-sneeze face looks weird.

Dear America,
     Please stop assuming that the temperature automatically drops 30 degrees when you cross the border.
       Sincerely, Canada.

Dear sheep,
     Why don't you shrink when it rains?
       Sincerely, cotton.

Dear world,
     I dream of a world where we can cross the road without having our motives questioned.
       Sincerely, chickens.

Dear Taylor Swift,
     We like your ending better.
       Sincerely, Romeo and Juliet.

Dear "my dog ate my homework,"
     You've been replaced.
      Sincerely, "my printer broke."

Dear future self,
     I apologize in advance for all the work.
       Sincerely, procrastinator.

Dear kids trying to grow up too fast,
     Yeah, being older that you is awesome.  I love working to pay for my car, gas, college, books and having no money for fun stuff like eating or laundry.
       Sincerely, seriously, just enjoy your childhood while you still can.

Dear full closet,
     How come I have nothing to wear?!
       Sincerely, girls everywhere.

Dear boy,
     Please note that you are about to be Facebook stalked for approval.
       Sincerely, your new girlfriend's best friend.

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